As slow-pitch softball players go, Christian James doesn’t appear to break any stereotypes. He’s around the age of 30, sports a clean goatee, lives in an exurban area, and appears to take the sport way, way too seriously. We don’t know if he enjoys Busch Light, but… we wouldn’t doubt it.
(We’re just saying, if you wanted to be a slow-pitch softball player for Halloween, this is a good starting point.)
For what’s believed to be the very first time in recorded history*, however, James has decided to use the power of slow-pitch softball for a noble cause, setting up a most unusual exhibition in the home of the Chicago Cubs’ AAA affiliate in Des Moines yesterday and today. He decided the best way to combat colo-rectal cancer would be, as the DES MOINES REGISTER reports, to hit softballs. For 24 hours. 5000 times. Yeah.
With every ball hit, James will be raising money for the fight against colorectal cancer, one of the most common cancers in the United States and the second-leading cause of cancer deaths.
James, who works in the radiology department as a PACS (Picture Archiving and Communicating Systems) administrator for Iowa Health-Des Moines, had an epiphany on an airplane.
Realizing he had a passion for hitting and a passion for helping people, he dreamed up a non-profit organization called Helping Hits that would marry the two.
This, we’d like to point out, is an extraordinarily inartful sentence, since one could reasonably interpret it as saying he has a passion for both hitting and helping people, which seems both counterproductive and psychopathic. No, he enjoys hitting softballs. That needs to be made clear.
And so he set out to do exactly that, though his choice of dates turned out to be unfortunate, as today’s the hottest day of the year for Des Moines; the area spent the better part of the day under a heat advisory with the heat index holding steady around 105 degrees. There’s no real way to see that coming, of course, though in the future, if he chooses to undertake this again, he might want to be more than one day away from the longest day of the year.
But James may have unwittingly revealed the most shocking case of patient abuse this nation has ever seen while he was justifying his strange (but good-hearted) endeavor to KCCI:
He started hitting balls and promised not to stop until he his 5,000th ball in a 24-hour period.
“I can go through this, cancer patients go through this a lot worse so I can go through a little bit of pain,” said James.
So if we’re hearing him correctly, cancer patients have to hit a lot more than 5,000 softballs in 24 hours? Who’s putting those poor people up to this?! Most of them are old and frail! That doesn’t even have any medical benefit, it’s just outright abuse! Someone needs to put a stop to it. Preferably by playing kickball for 24 straight hours.
*This is not an exaggeration.
9:59 pm on June 22nd, 2009
I see nothing wrong with enjoying some Blue Smoothies - there is a recession going on!!!!!
11:51 pm on June 22nd, 2009
LOL @ previous poster's username. that is all.
oh yeah…go Des Moines. At least you spelled it right this time.
8:47 am on June 23rd, 2009
Wow, classy as ever AdamJ. First you mock his org name and then you make fun of his slip of the toungue when he was probably exhausted. I hope you have never misspoken because if you have you are a freakin' hypocrite. Get a life! At least he's doing something beneficial.
3:20 am on July 5th, 2009
Wow Adam, you’re pretty observant! Way to take a negative poke at an event that has reached so many people across the country. Now, I understand the humor that you may find in this whole thing. Here’s this 31 y/o man from a rapidly growing suburb north of Des Moines, Ia (Ankeny). This guy plays SLOWpitch softball, what a joke! You hit the nail on the head! I’m surprised you didn’t take a jab at my profession an ask where my pocket protector is. However, it’s not your local beer or recreational league. I have been blessed to be able to travel across the country competing against and with some amazing athletes. I am not what Jim Rome would refer to as Softball Guy. I could point allot of them out to you! :o). Do I take the sport of softball seriously? No, I don’t get paid for this. All winnings go to a team account. There are people who make a very good living do to what they’ve done playing this sport. That’s not me, I do however, take making a difference in someone’s life by hitting softballs very serious!
Here’s what happened. I realized that I was playing this sport for what I felt was not the best reason. At this level, all teams work for is a National Title. I love to hit softballs and have been known to do it for very long periods of time. In life, I focus on doing the right thing, not just for my family and I but for the people around me. OK, so here I have two things that I ENJOY doing…Well, I will “marry” the two together. My Helping Hits organization was formed. I’m still involved with the game but I’m just taking it in a different direction. Between the training and the event organization, it’s like having a second job. Trust me, it’s all worth it. If this helps save one life, it’s a success. Was the 24 hour period tough? Absolutely, like I was quoted or perhaps, misquoted. It was painful and exhausting but cancer patients suffer from much more while they fight this deadly disease. So I can push through it for one day. For me, when the clock reached the 24th hour and the 5000th ball was struck, that was it, I could resume normal life. That’s not the same for Colorectal cancer patients. They approach day two of the 3rd most common cancer and a top killer if it’s not caught early enough. The money collected from coast to coast could potentially save many lives by paying for the necessary colonoscopies for the uninsured and underinsured. Everyone at the event had a blast. Movies, live music, free lunch, a homerun derby and our buck-a-ball challenge were just a few of the activities going on during the event. Next year I will reach a larger number of balls hit and with our newly found national interest, a larger amount of money will be raised. Helping Hits and the David’s Fight Organization will continue to dedicate ourselves to the early detection and prevention of Colorectal cancer and will continue to make this event a must see for people who can make it out!
Adam, you could be affected either directly or indirectly by this deadly disease in you lifetime. Family, friend or just an acquaintance, nobody’s invincible when it comes to this disease.
Now I do have a sense of humor and chuckle at your comments but I do ask you to ask yourself, what have you done lately?
Join my cause!
FYI, my wife and I love to travel so if where in your town, I don’t consume allot but when I do, Bud light is just fine. ;o)
Christian James
Founder of Helping Hits
12:32 am on July 7th, 2009
Way to knock it out of the park Christian