Hideki Matsui’s Wife: A Civilian, Wary Of Ballpoints

Hideki Matsui made a rather bizarre announcement today, notifying the press that he was getting married to a “a 25-year-old civilian and had formerly been working in a reputable position at a highly respected company. I cannot go into further details at this current time.

Hideki Matsui's Paper Wife

A civilian? Wow, we would’ve guessed Matsui met her in a South Dakota missile silo. Even stranger was how he introduced his wife to public life.

Matsui thought so much of her that he not only didn’t bring her to the announcement, but displayed a drawing of her instead. Righteous.

The best part of the whole Matsui marriage thing though had nothing to do with his papyrus-based bride, but instead a bet he had made with Derek Jeter and Bobby Abreu the day before.

Tyler Kepner of the NEW YORK TIMES reports:

It was a cute story, but then it took a hilarious turn. Peter Abraham of the Journal News asked if Derek Jeter would be the next to get married.

“We’ve got a bet going,” Matsui replied. “If he doesn’t get married within a year, I win the bet. Basically the bet was, whoever gets married first wins. Jeter said he himself doesn’t have a girlfriend, so he’s getting a one-year handicap.”

Back in the clubhouse, we found Jeter and told him the news about Matsui. Jeter, who loves to say that he’s never surprised by anything, was genuinely shocked. Turns out Matsui had played him for a fool.

“That’s not hilarious, that’s sad, that’s real sad,” Jeter said. “If he wanted the money, all he had to do was ask. He didn’t really have to do it.”

You see, Jeter explained, this all started as a bet between Jeter and another Yankee bachelor, Bobby Abreu. Matsui heard about it and said he wanted in. Jeter knew Matsui had a girlfriend, but he added, “I didn’t know he was gonna get married this spring.”

Abreu sauntered into the clubhouse, heard about Matsui’s marriage and broke up laughing. He also admitted defeat quickly, saying he’ll write Matsui a check. (We couldn’t find out how much the winner gets.)

Hopefully Matsui made enough to cover the cost of a possible divorce, which would no doubt involve a shredder of some sort.