St. Louis’ RIVERFRONT TIMES gives us the latest update on our favorite high school basketball coach of all-time, Vashon High’s Floyd Irons.

The Times reports he “personally spent between $25,000 and $30,000 to house, feed and clothe two Vashon High School basketball players during a five-year period, according to the transcript of his November 12, 2007, interview with officials from the Missouri State High School Activities Association.“

Some of the fantastical details:

• Irons paid the $460-per-month rent for the apartment, where the brothers, then in ninth and tenth grade, lived alone, according to the transcript. The utilities were registered in the name of one of Mike Noll’s friends, Irons said, so that there would be “no connection” to Irons.

• Irons also said he paid for the boys’ food and clothes, and made sure they had beds and a television set. He also gave them a car, a blue 1985 Cadillac DeVille.

• Teachers and others who were close to the basketball program sometimes contributed food and spending money for the boys, Irons told MSHSAA officials. He said he and others would stop by the apartment every so often to check on the boys.

• Irons also said that he found a woman who would clean the place and make Sunday dinner for the Hill brothers for the year-plus that they lived there.

• Irons said his assistant coaches were aware of the boys’ living arrangement, and that former principal Dorothy Ludgood, who died in 2003, knew Irons was helping the Hills with amenities.

What, no hookers?

So the kids had a fat, paid-for bachelor pad. A Cadillac, free TV, maid service and additional “amenities” provided by the high school’s principal. We can now understand why neither made it big in college hoops. Anything Kelvin Sampson could provide would only be a letdown.

And in case you’re wondering where a high school coach from a less-advantaged section of St. Louis would get all that extra income? Answer: real estate scam. We love this guy!

Growing up in Missouri, we remember all of Vashon’s great teams in the state high school playoffs. With Irons’ longstanding recruiting acumen (the Times has been investigating him for years for various improprieties) it’s a wonder the school didn’t win State every single year.