Hey Brazil: Urine For A Real Treat With MJ (Video)

What would you say if we told you somebody got Stephen Hawking, Michael Jordan, Gandhi, and King Kong together? Right, exactly, that would be the BALLINEST PARTY IN ALL OF HISTORY. And what if we told you it was in Brazil? So much the better, right?

Michael Jordan pissing in the shower
(That? That is… exactly what it looks like. It’s #23 going #1.)

So in case you don’t already think so, things are about to get weird. Because the four characters (one of whom is fictional, another of whom is dead, and a third of whom is entirely immobile and confined to a wheelchair) are in a commercial. To save the environment. By saving water. By peeing in the shower. No, really, that’s all true. Watch for yourself, below the break.

Did you understand what was going on there? No? Well, us neither, really. But apparently, in order to help save the Amazon River, Brazil is proposing that everybody take a leak while they shower. IMPORTANT NOTE, AND WE LEARNED THIS THE HARD WAY: This strategy is much more disastrous in the bathtub.

We wonder if Nike’s going to object to this. That’s an honest, serious question. On one hand, it’s Brazil, and it’s a PSA about taking a leak in the shower. It’s not like it’s siphoning any money away from the Jumpman brand or tricking people into buying something that they think is Nike. There isn’t a judge in the world that would rule with Nike on those grounds.

On the other hand, brand dilution is a hell of a thing, and this would probably qualify. But you’d hate to think Nike would take a stance that would - wrongly - look like such a hardline pro-toilet #1-ing approach. Their industry doesn’t have a dog in this fight either way.

But we’re getting distracted from the main issue, which is that this is one of the most surreal cartoons we’ve ever seen (and that’s an informed opinion; we watched some anime while we were growing up, and that is some f**ked up s**t).

We’re not sure we like the narration from the kids, though. While, yes, you do want kids to participate in this activity and all, this is an issue for adults as well. And perhaps we’re oversharing a bit here, but the last time we took urination advice from a bunch of kids, we ended up in jail for 10 days and on the Sexual Offender Registry. We gave them a pseudonym though; the ol’ I.P. Inacopsface strikes again.