Hero Janitor Thwarts Girls X-Country Masturbater

While this isn’t quite on the level of earlier stories about the marathon runner who ran down her assailant or the elderly ex-boxer who beat up a burglar, let it be known that high school custodians can be heroes, too. A 39-year-old Fountain Valley (Calif.) man was arrested Tuesday after the janitor at Fountain Valley High School spotted him masturbating while watching girls on the cross country team doing warmup exercises. Remember, without eternal janitor vigilance, it can happen at your school.

(”Do ya feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”)

Just how did the janitor — who is not being named — stop the perverted miscreant? By tackling him and sitting on him until police arrived. That act in itself conjures all sorts of disturbing possibilities, so let’s just let it go. Hilarious masturbater quote included after the jump.

Hoang Hong Nguyen was charged with misdemeanor indecent exposure (oh, burn!), annoying or molesting a child, disturbing school activities, and falsely identifying himself to a police officer. The janitor spotted Nguyen touching himself while watching the girls team stretch and do calisthenics.

The janitor made a citizen’s arrest, tackling Nguyen and sitting on him until police arrived.

Nguyen told police that he had come to the school to play soccer, and admitted exposing and touching himself, saying he had an itch he had to scratch, police said.

Why did this have to happen on the day of the Senior Luau?!