• Why tune in to the Las Vegas Bowl this Saturday? I got six words for ya: David Hasselhoff sings the national anthem.

Any chance to elect Gary Coleman as Grand Marshal of the Las Vegas Bowl parade?

• Stephon Marbury shows up courtside for the Knicks-Lakers game, after all - not on the bench, but in some pricey seats.

• Brian Giles is slapped with a $10 million domestic abuse lawsuit. Is it true? Let’s go to the videotape.

• Tony Dorsett’s nephew can score you some coke stronger than anything Mean Joe Greene tosses.

• The BCS Championishp Game - in 3-D! See every zit on Sam Bradford’s face come right at you! Get blinded by Tim Tebow’s gleeming toothy grin!

• The daughter of NASCAR big wig Bruton Smith really needs to carpool.

• Who’s to blame for the T-Wolves’ terribleness? It can’t be GM-now-coach Kevin McHale - it must be those blasted bloggers!

• Your latest purveyor of nude cheerleader pics on a cell phone - a middle school janitor in Mississippi.

And the winner of today’s boisterous Bruce Pearl caption contest is…

Viceroy, who summons the spirit of Lil Jon: Whaaaaaat, Yeeeeeeeahh, Okaaaaaaay

Thanks for playing along. We’ll scream up a new contest for y’all tomorrow.