Harlem Globetrotters About To Play Roof-ketball

Remember that idiot cousin of yours, the one who flunked out of trade school? Remember when you were growing up and you first realized what an idiot he was? It was when he tried to jump off the garage and dunk a basketball, then ended up breaking his ankle, wasn’t it? Plus he totally whiffed on the dunk.

(Photoshop, like story leak, courtesy of THE 700 LEVEL. I know, I thought it was a real picture too.)

But it turns out that your idiot cousin merely expressing something simple: basketball + roof = exciting! And to that end, according to THE 700 LEVEL, the Harlem Globetrotters will be playing a basketball game from the roof of the Wachovia Spectrum in Philadelphia on March 3. Yes, the very same Spectrum that’s going to be torn down later this spring. Hey, just be thankful Oliver Miller’s not with them anymore, or that demolition would be starting midway through the first quarter.

The Globetrotter brass seems as pleased with the idea as any front office would be… if they were pumped full of PR morphine and deprived of sleep for 4 days.

“We’ve played in so many unique venues over our history and this game will surely add to that legacy. You might say we are ‘over the top’ excited to play on the roof,” [team chief executive Kurt] Schneider said.

Ugh. Seriously, dude? We’re making Over The Top references? Not only did that movie suck, but now you’ve got this song stuck in my head.

But then there’s the issue of logistics. It’s not like the Spectrum was built with another court on the roof. If it did that’d be awesome, but sadly, mad genius architects don’t get projects like civic arenas. But fortunately, aha, yes, there’s a plan:

Cranes will hoist regulation hoops to the roof of the Spectrum, where regulation lines will be painted. No seats will be available but elementary school students will watch with binoculars from an adjacent larger arena.

That last part strikes us as an excessively bad idea on multiple levels. First, no seats to actually watch the game up close? Who are the Globetrotters going to throw buckets of confetti at? Passing birds? And second, putting basketball players on the roof of a building is dangerous enough; they’re also going to try it with small children?! What if there’s a basketball hoop visible from below the larger arena? You never know which little kid is going to grow up to be the idiot cousin, after all.

If the Globetrotters go through with this game, though, they might be shorthanded, as one of their teammates is in trouble for hitting the roof & hitting his wife.

The TUCSON CITIZEN reports that Eugene “Wildkat” Edgerson was arrested Wednesday night on a domestic violence charge. A spokesperson for the Pima County Sheriff’s Department said deputies had responded to a report of a domestic disturbance at Edgerson’s home around 11:30 p.m.:

She said deputies saw a man, woman and small child at the front door of the home.

Edgerson’s wife, whose name was not provided by authorities, told a deputy Edgerson had assaulted her by pulling her hair.

Edgerson told deputies the altercation was verbal. Barkman said deputies saw the woman’s hair was in “disarray.”

Edgerson spent the night in jail, but was released by 9 a.m. Thursday morning. Any additional court dates have yet to be determined.