So I’m back in my hometown, Cowtown, with SbB Girl Wendy. In case you don’t know, Wendy is a raging, closet masochist. In other words, she’s a White Sox fan.

We met up at The K this weekend for a turd baseball stew brewed up by the going-nowhere White Sox and Royals. Friday, I’m happy to report my Royals didn’t let me down in the first of the three game set, as they were savaged by the Tube Socks 11-2.

We left in the sixth inning, which is pretty brutal - but if you had a choice to go out on the town with Wendy on a Friday night or watch A.J. Pierzynski take a dump on your hometown team in between bad dye jobs, what would you do?

It was my first game back to The K since I was broadcasting the games with Royals announcer Denny Matthews on KC radio in 1999 on KMBZ-AM.

It was somewhat of a relief to experience the irresistible force that is Royals baseball from the stands than being holed in a press box chock full o’ chronic masturbators. (Denny actually though is pretty cool, a lot cooler than people give him credit for. As is Ryan Lefebvre.)

More importantly, it’s Wendy’s first trip to KC, so once she got fully adjusted to the faint urine smell, I took her to one of my favorite BBQ restaurants, Jack Stack Barbecue.

We both killed a combo platter of burnt ends, brisket, baby backs and the best side dish since Stockton-to-Malone, the cheesy corn bake. (Dayum!)