I was bemused by this alleged statement today from Javon Walker to thedirty.com about being the recent victim of assault and robbery in Vegas:

“I was just back at my room and at about 5:30 in the morning I got a knock at the door. I opened it and 3 guys with guns were there. They cracked me in the head a few times, knocking me unconscious. They then robbed me of everything I had; my watch, money, everything! Somehow they got me to a car and dropped me off in the street. That’s what happened.”

Javon Walker: Master of the semicolon!

Now, I do believe that statement was communicated from the Walker camp to the website. But from the clunky wording, it’s appears the communique may have been hastily lawyered-up, as Walker prepares for a possible court battle.

If I was Walker, I’d be doing exactly the same thing - mitigating culpability from the night’s events. But there is one small problem with the statement.

Walker claims that after he was knocked unconscious, “somehow they got me to a car and dropped me off in the street.”

As Mike Florio of PFT also points out, if Walker admits he ended up in the street, how does he know he was ever in a car - since he was unconscious the entire time? And why would the robbers remove him from his hotel room in the first place?

On second thought, maybe the semicolon-smitten Walker did issue the statement himself. Either that or he’s enlisted the services of legacy-crushing lawyer Rusty Hardin.

UPDATE: Walker’s agent reports to the ASSOCIATED PRESS that the Oakland Raider is recovering from his injuries in a “private environment”.