Sex: it’s lots of fun! Sure, it can lead to numerous problems, like STDs, pregnancy, and marriage, but it’s soooooo fun! Have you ever had sex? It’s amazing! Some people get to have sex as their job. They’re called superheroes.
(Our young hero, enjoying his Sex-Crazed Man of the Year award.)
One hockey player for the Polar Bears Berlin and German National Team enjoys sex a super amount. So one day when he was having some of that fun sex, anti-doping professionals came over to test him for drugs. The player, 24-year-old Florian Busch, refused to immediately comply; we’re pretty sure his answer, when translated from German, was “Give me 10 minutes, or so help me God, I will throw a hammer at you.” Whatever it was, it wasn’t “Yes, sir, right away!” - and that was a serious mistake.
As YAHOO! SPORTS reports, Busch’s (probable) insistence on, y’know, “finishing” has cost him two years of sports:
A German national hockey player was banned for two years after refusing to take a doping test for several hours because he was relaxing at home with his girlfriend.
Despite testing negative, he can’t suit up for the Polar Bears Berlin again until February 2011.
Germany coach Uwe Krupp has said Busch was sharing “a private moment” with his girlfriend when the testing team arrived.
One time I was having a private moment and then after it, the girl told me I was good at sex. How awesome is that? I didn’t even like ask her, she just decided to compliment me. That was the best day ever.
We understand the urgency and necessity of drug tests, but at some point, instances like Busch’s have to be looked at with a real dose of sanity. He eventually tested negative, although we imagine the World Anti-Doping Agency probably didn’t appreciate being offered a semen sample instead of urine the first go-around. The question is this: would a reasonable person believe that Busch’s refusal in the throes of passion was so that he could figure out a way to rig the system? If not, then in light of the recent negative test, isn’t a 2-year bad, well, excessive?
1:27 am on June 24th, 2009
It's the age old conundrum. To have sex and get in trouble or to want sex and scratch your eyes out while taking a piss test.
7:03 am on June 24th, 2009
very well written i enjoyed it a super amount. one time i had to read it twice. how awesome is that. i didnt even like have to. it was the best ever. i understand that SbB is necessary, but at some point, instances like this make you look stupid