(You know, if the utility infielders aren’t doing anything … [mimes phone call])
With MAXIM’s “Hot 100″ list due out in a couple weeks, sources say that six of the women on the list have, at one time, dated the Yankees shortstop.
At third base! Jessica Alba.
At shortstop! Scarlett Johannson.
Playing second! Vanessa Minnillo.
First base! Jessica Biel.
Catching! Mariah Carey.
And your starting pitcher … Gabrielle Union. Whoever she is.
It’s clearly a murderer’s row of fair maidens that would make any man jealous that Jeter’s batting around this infield and not himself. Although I’m not sure if the women are particularly jealous, unless of course they want the herp. Although, hey, the parking’s free.
The magazine also divulges that two of those six mistresses (Biel and Johannson) are in the top ten.
Know what I’m curious about? Who’s the ugliest girl Jeter’s ever dated? Mathematically, there has to be one. High school, blind date, slumpbuster … anything. That way, at least maybe the common man can gloat, “Well, I ain’t never been with any Maxim Hot 100 … but damn, I wouldn’t hit that if it was the only way to end Jumanji.”