FSU WR Arrested & Charged With Chair Assault

If you need proof that the Florida State football program has declined in importance in recent years, consider the fact that it has been nearly four whole months since a FSU football player has been arrested, shot, put on probation, or indicted. That’s a statistic that wasn’t boding well for their chances for success in 2009, as the team’s greatest successes seem to correlate with their worst off-field behavior (Free Shoes University, anyone?).

Luckily for Bobby Bowden, that changed yesterday when senior WR Richard Goodman was arrested and charged with assaulting a female in the face with a folding chair at a party last November. What a Dick!

In a piece of pretty boss detective work, it only took Tallahassee’s finest 5 months to think to put the suspects in a lineup in front of witnesses. When they finally did so, they cracked a case with the precise precision of a chair to the face.


According to FSU Police Department documents, police believe Goodman is the individual who swung a chair that struck a female in the face during the on-campus fight last November. Goodman’s charge: Aggravated battery with a deadly weapon causing great bodily harm. That’s a second degree felony.

The FSU Police Department had been investigating the fight for months, trying to establish the identity of the individual who used a chair to assault a female. The case received its break on April 2 when, according to police department documents, a female witness identified Goodman as the one who swung the chair. The witness picked Goodman out of a photographic lineup that included three FSU football players and nine other students.

As we all know, assaulting a female is one of the lowest things a man can do, especially when said man is a large, physically imposing football player. Hopefully, Goodman will be on the business end of a little prison assault for such a weak, cowardly move; everyone knows the only time hitting someone in the face with a chair is acceptable is in 1920s slapstick comedy films - and no, pro wrestling is never under any circumstances acceptable.