Freshman Football Kids: Coach Ashton A Douche

A few weeks back, Ashton Kutcher revealed to the world that he has taken on the job of assistant coach of a freshman football team in North Hollywood. He just couldn’t stand the thought of Snoop Dogg getting all the credit for being America’s top celebrity football coach.

Ashton Kutcher

Surpringly, Kutcher isn’t quite as popular with his players as Snoop is. In fact, despite Ashton saying that he’s really “blessed” with the opportunity to coach the youngsters, his players apparently don’t feel the same way. They even reportedly have a secret name for him when he’s not around…

STAR magazine makes a rare appearance here on SbB with the news that the Harvard-Westlake freshmen aren’t exactly star-struck by Demi’s boy toy:

“The kids want him gone,” says an insider. “They think he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and can’t stand his tough-guy attitude.”

Out of the huddle, the kids mock their famous coach and have even given him a special nickname: Ashton Doucher!

I gotta be honest, I would’ve never guessed that Ashton’s problem is being too tough.  And the name — well, quotes like this might have something to do with it (courtesy of PEOPLE):

“I am blessed to step on the gridiron every week with a great group of individuals that understand that the collective force is greater that any individual can ever be.”

“Though coaching a football team is no great step for man kind I finding that it’s a great step for me,” writes Kutcher, adding “I’m not there to teach them, they are there to teach me.” 

Kutcher, of course, is just doing research for his new film Douche Coach, the story of a dillweed who makes football less fun for everyone around him.

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