According to the Hallmark Cards website, “A Babylonian youth named Elmesu carved the first known Father’s Day card in clay nearly 4,000 years ago. His special message wished his father good health and a long life.” Since that ancient card-thingy, celebrations of father-child relationships have taken many forms. In Germany, the traditional Father’s Day celebration includes a men’s-only hiking tour in which the hikers pull one or more small wooden wagons containing beer and sausage. (No, really.) In many parts of the United States, the occasion calls for chintzy cards and bad neckties.
As with many aspects of life, however, Florida handles things differently and ass-backwards. At least, that’s what the actions of former Hillsborough County commissioner and WWF(E?) wrestler Brian Blair (above left) would lead us to believe. You see, Blair chose to commemorate that most sacred of bonds, the bond between parent and child, by beating the crap out of his two teenage sons on Father’s Day. Hey, Brian? YOU’RE (allegedly) DOING IT WRONG.
At least, that’s what a report in the TAMPA TRIBUNE would lead us to believe:
According to deputies, shortly before 4 a.m. Sunday, Blair pushed Brett in the chest. When the boy tried to walk away, Blair grabbed him, punched him in the face and put him in a choke hold. Then Blair turned his attention to his younger son, Bradley. He grabbed the boy by the throat and punched him in the head, leaving a mark.
Blair is most famous in the minds of rasslin’ fans as half of the 1980s tag team combo The Killer Bees, but to residents of central Florida, Blair was known as county commissioner from 2004-2008. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Father Of The Year candidate’s campaign platform did not include “hitting children”:
A conservative Republican who stressed family values, Blair was elected to the county commission in 2004 but lost a heated election last year to Kevin Beckner.
Child abuse is a family value of sorts, I suppose, but not one of the ones you’d generally want to highlight on the campaign trail. On the bright side, at least the kids are still alive. Not every former wrestler with domestic issues can say the same.