There are a few things I would recommend trying while stoned out of your gourd. Playing in the snow. Listening to Zeppelin. Watching the opening credits of “Mad Men.” But the list of things I would advise against doing while high begins unequivocally with playing in an NFL game.
From the COLORADO SPRINGS GAZETTE, via PFT, comes the story of former Broncos left tackle Matt Lepsis. Lepsis found God, and found drugs, unfortunately not in that order. Lepsis says he played the first six games of the 2007 season while high, a stretch no doubt highlighted by a week three loss to Jacksonville in which the Jaguars logo totally came to life and tried to eat him, man.
The article doesn’t make it clear which drug Lepsis used, only that the use of painkillers after knee surgery led to his recreational use (sounds like a gateway to hillbilly heroin instead of one of the fun drugs, if you ask me.)
“I look back on it, and it was really foolish of me,” Lepsis said. “There were definitely times when I wasn’t even really there. I was physically there, but I was in another place mentally.”
Lepsis says he practiced 10-15 times while high before trying it in an actual game, which makes it sound like this was some lofty goal he had set for himself. I suppose you have to admire that determination; after all, quitters never win.
Lepsis did quit, thankfully, after some trippy phone calls from the Dave Matthews Band (seriously, read the article) and finding religion with the help of author/placekicker/evangelist extraordinaire Jason Elam. I’m glad he has his health, but the real issue here is the fact that his addiction wasn’t uncovered by any of the NFL’s tests, which he says he passed with flying colors.