Football Star Busted For Forgery By An Apple

We’re not sure, but something tells us that felony forgery is probably out of the league of a high school football player. Some people may be able to pull it off, but an 18-year-old whose easily distracted by tapping pencils and actually believes the claims in AXE body spray commercials probably isn’t one of them.

(More successful at preventing forgery than your average Utah cop.)

That’s why Salt Lake City high schooler Bo Ryker Jensen — rule No. 2: Don’t try forgery if your name only has two letters — is in some serious hot water. According to Layton (Utah) police in a report on the website for Salt Lake City station TV station KSL, Jensen was caught trying to buy a single apple at an Albertson’s with a $20, which, even for a grocery store clerk, is enough to make them suspicious.

Now the football and baseball star is being charged with felony forgery, with some $200 worth of bills already recovered from a ring he had set up; another teen was arrested earlier in the week for trying to pass on $90 of Jensen’s money for an amplifier at a music store.

It’s hard to even know where to start with this kid. Not only should he never have tried to counterfeit money in the first place — if you’re going to try a crime, don’t try a felony — he definitely shouldn’t have tried to buy an apple to break change. That’s ridiculous.

bo ryker jensen

Yet, as ridiculous as it is, the scheme seems to have worked in at least a couple of outlets. Police claim that the bills were used successfully at a handful of stores, which had at least one officer concerned.

“Somebody of that age needs to have some sophistication and some education to produce something like that,” Layton police Lt. Quinn Moyes said.

Or maybe it says something about the people who are being fooled by lightweight money. There’s a pretty significant difference between money stock and regular paper. If they’re falling for regular paper, well, maybe they shouldn’t get a full refund on the bad bills.