Florida Involved In Yet Another Election Scandal

The SOUTH FLORIDA SUN-SENTINEL’S BUSINESS OF SPORTS has a tale that is sure to anger any red-blooded American who is a fan of democracy. Despite having won an online vote from a list of nominees, Billy the Marlin was denied entry in the 2008 Mascot Hall of Fame, falling short of Rocky, the Denver Nuggets mascot, and Slider of the Cleveland Indians.

Billy the Marlin

I know, an election scandal involving Florida. How thoroughly and incredibly unsurprising. I’d only be less shocked if it turns out that Katherine Harris is the Mascot Hall of Fame election monitor. Although I’m sure that somehow this is all Ralph Nader’s fault.
Unfortunately for Billy the Marlin, the online vote is only a small percentage of what goes into selecting the inductees into the Hall of Fame. Why? Because MASCOTS HATE PEOPLE! As you would too if you were trapped inside a sweaty, disgusting suit in 110 degree weather for an afternoon baseball game in July, trying to entertain people while ignoring the drunk guy dry-humping your tail behind you.

You would have thought that Billy the Marlin would have been a sure bet, since John Routh, the guy who originated the mascot, is on the Mascot Hall of Fame executive committee. Except that the Marlins fired Routh several years ago. Whoops.

I mean, come on - Billy the Marlin is one of the best mascots around, especially once you get past the whole “knocked a guy out with a T-shirt gun” thing. How can you have a Mascot Hall of Fame without him? What do you guys think - what mascots are at the top of your list, or which ones do you hate? Let us know in the Comments.