• HELLSPAWNED JAVELINAS is livin’ large, as they chew the fat about these portly pigskin coaches:

One big omission though - Toledo’s ton of fun Tom Amstutz.• SPORTSVITE is down to their Final Four, and America can now vote for The Next Minor League Basketball Superstar.

• HOME RUN DERBY will never get its laundry done, as Joe Buck can’t keeps his Sox straight.

• SPORTS ILLUSTRATED has the recently retired Justin Gimelstob looking back on his 12-year tennis career.

• Meanwhile, SI’s EXTRA MUSTARD gets down with Dallas Clark, as the Colts tight end performs Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer” - in sign language:

Well, he’s better than Korny & Jaws.

• DEADSPIN drops the puck on Shawn Chambers, a good hockey player but a terrible video game character.

• THE BIG LEAD learns something today, as Jimmy Kimmel cowboys up a PSA on the state of Red Sox Nation.

• RUMORS AND RANTS won’t touch that dial, as an MTV- documented high school football team is now embroiled in controversies worthy of the camera eye.