Fan Sues NCAA For Illegal “Gambling Enterprise”

Poor Tom George. He’s tried to score Final Four tickets through the NCAA’s Final Four lottery for years now and never won. Each time, he has to cough up a fee (now $6) to Ticketmaster for the privilege of entering the lottery for the chance to be overcharged for tickets. You can’t blame him for trying to avoid the secondary ticket market, considering the outrageous costs there.

Vanilla Ice American flag

(We… *snif* we love this country)

So what’s a guy to do when he can’t beat two monoliths at their own game? Why, he files a class-action lawsuit against both for running illegal gambling operations. The NCAA and Ticketmaster have combined to run the equivalent of a massive craps table and lone Tom George will defend us from their wicked ways using the All-American tactic of legal action.

He’s not just suing about the men’s basketball Final Four. The women have one, too, of course. So does men’s hockey (Le Frozen Four). All of these practices are now under fire from Filin’ Tom George. Of course, we wonder why Mr. George would participate in an enterprise he felt could be illegal before filing suit; is he an accessory to supporting a criminal enterprise?

The NCAA responded thusly:

“There is no credible suggestion that our public ticket sale can be considered gambling in any way, and we are comfortable with our approach. We believe this complaint is without merit.”

Fair enough, but can we still refer to it as “bending us over a table and demanding to know who owns us while applying various power tools to our delicate and tender orifices”? That’s not a legal term, is it? If not, it probably should be. Or at least Ticketmaster could change its name to that to adhere to truth in advertising laws.