Throughout my life I’ve generally been a law abiding citizen. Okay, so not exactly. What I mean by that is that I’ve broken plenty of laws in my life, but I’ve never been caught, so as far as the police know I’m law abiding. Still, that doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate the feats of those who have been arrested in their life. Be it for assault, public drunkenness, arson, or any combination of such charges.
So it’s with that in mind that I’d like to introduce all of you to a man named Donald Swisher Jr. You see, Donald is the type of guy who reaches for the stars in every aspect of his life. That’s why after he was arrested once on Sunday while attending the Sprint Cup race in Pocono with his girlfriend, he decided that one time just wasn’t enough.
A Shickshinny man had two run-ins with police at Sunday’s NASCAR race at Pocono Raceway, according to a press release from Pocono Mountain Regional police.
Donald Swisher Jr., 28, was first arrested for summary charges of disorderly conduct and public drunkenness after an argument with his wife in their Victory Circle seats, police said.
Police said officers arrested Swisher a second time around 5 p.m. on misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct and public drunkenness after receiving a call he was being disorderly again.
Swisher was taken into custody after the second arrest, and was released by a Magisterial District Court on unsecured bail.
Unfortunately for Swisher and the police, the odds are that Donald wasn’t drunk at all. You see, when the police first came upon him and questioned where he was from he replied “Shickshinny”. Of course the police probably thought he was slurring his speech, and arrested him on the spot. Seriously, try saying Shickshinny five times and not sound drunk while doing so.
Either that or he was just upset that Kyle Busch didn’t win, and started raising hell. Whatever happened, Donald Swisher Jr. is a hero and should be treated as such. I mean, he was at a NASCAR race and managed to stand out as the only drunk and disorderly person there. You know how hard that has to be?