Eyes Of Texas Are Upon Texas A&M Locker Room

Although actual religion is the official religion of the state of Texas, football is a close second. If you’re lucky, you choose your colors and root accordingly; most are born into a sect of fandom.

Texas Longhorns cheerleaders in chaps

(Shouldn’t the eyes of Texas have been upon something else?)

So even though there are no known suspects or leads in this case, we’re already 95% sure it’s a fan behind it and not an athlete. Athletes may commit crimes, but it’s almost never against a rival school or its team. Fans - fans from Texas, mind you - on the other hand, would totally do something like, oh, break into a rival’s locker room overnight, then leave fight song lyrics taped onto the carpet.

As CNN/SI reported, Texas A&M’s football complex was the staging ground for that particularly silly crime. Unfortunately for the perpetrators, the law doesn’t really give breaks for “silly” when theft and vandalism are involved:

Burglars who broke into the Texas A&M football complex stole some athletic items and left behind a rival’s message.

KBTX-TV reports athletic tape was used to write the words “The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You” on the carpet of the locker room.

Yes, that’s their fight song, and you might remember singing a suspiciously similar song during your childhood:

“The Eyyyyes of Texas are upaaawwn you… alll the livelong day! Iiii’ve been working on the raiiilrooad, just to…” oh, sorry, got caught up in a bit of that preschool nostalgia.

But we digress. While Texas-TAMU certainly has currency as a geographical rivalry, doesn’t anybody else think that maybe Overexcitable Longhorn Fan probably should have been setting his sights on Texas’ real rival up in Norman, instead? Not that the Aggies aren’t a threat - even though they aren’t - but it wasn’t A&M keeping Texas out of the BCS title game, it was Texas Tech Oklahoma in that miserable Big XII South 3-way tie.

So what the hell are these burgling Texas fans worried about the Aggies for?