It’s hard enough out there for the regular folk to get and hold jobs these days, much less your elite athlete. So what’s a fellow to do when his NBA aspirations lasted all of 15 games for the Boston Celtics a dozen years ago but there’s still bills to pay and dreams to be achieved?
(PHIL SEZ COUNTERFITZ IS STEELINZ AND STEELINZ IS WRONG)
It’s hard to say for sure, but you can now cross this one off the list: open up a mall store to sell counterfeit Nike shoes and store your ten pounds of marijuana (which is quite real).
Markham (IL) police raided the store Friday where (CLUE ALERT) Air Jordans went for $35 after a two-month investigation prepared them for the bust. They arrested the aforementioned NBA tourist, Nate Driggers, and one of his employees. (Really? Not just “hey, $35 Air Jordans… want to raid the place?”)
How did the ever-vigilant Chicago suburb’s police discover this drug-laden counterfeit ring’s mall outlet? Why, Nike told them:
After being notified by representatives of Nike about the alleged sales of counterfeit shoes at the mall, (Deputy Chief Tony) DeBois said an undercover officer was sent to the shop to make some purchases of the shoes.
… “Nike comes out [and tells authorities] if someone sells one pair of counterfeit shoes,” he said. “That’s how serious they are with this.”
In fact, it would appear the police were utterly unprepared to find drugs at the store since they have only processed the counterfeiting charge and haven’t even filed charges on the drugs yet.
So don’t worry about the store cop watching you over the aisle shelves or the undercover cop checking you out from across the shoe section; don’t even think about buying anything with an improperly applied swoosh or else Phil Knight’s spies will see you.
Phil Knight has a wonderful plan for your life. He can see you reading this right now. Slowly turn towards Oregon and make the Sign of the Air Jordan Logo three times and he’ll let it go. This time.