Ex-Bull Is Bankrupt, Owes Paternity On 10 Kids

During the Chicago Bulls’ incredible title run in the 1990s, Michael Jordan was hardly the only great player on the team. Aside from fellow future Hall of Famer Scottie Pippen, the Bulls had such standouts as B.J. Armstrong, Toni Kukoc, and Dennis Rodman. Heck, even Luc Longley was an All-Star.

Jason Caffey

On that list of fine supporters, however, you’d have to scan pretty far down to find Jason Caffey, who won two titles with Chicago before bouncing around the NBA for another decade or so. Perhaps he’d have been better if he wasn’t, oh, banging anything with two legs and/or a heartbeat. Caffey, who apparently loved women as much as he hated birth control, was just denied bankruptcy by an Alabama judge, opening the door for lawsuits to settle child support for–oh lord, seriously?–ten kids from eight women. Quoth the CHICAGO TRIBUNE:

U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Margaret A. Mahoney dismissed the bankruptcy case Tuesday — which means the mothers of his children can sue for child-support payments. Caffey has 10 children with eight women.The bankruptcy judge also allowed Nicole Carter to sue Caffey over accusations that he fraudulently transferred assets meant to guarantee a trust fund set up for their daughter. Her attorney, Steven Terry, said he plans to file that lawsuit soon.

Can we just point out that it’s really weird to hear this about a completely obscure player from the dynasty? I mean, yeah, it makes sense that Shawn Kemp or Wilt Chamberlain were laying waste to women everywhere, because they were actually good at pro basketball. What was Jason Caffey’s pickup line? “Hi, I’m Scottie Pippen”?

10 kids is insane. Even Travis Henry thinks that’s out of control. So what’s next in Outlandish Accomplishments of 1990s Chicago Bulls Backups news? Jud Buechler invents a flying car? Bill Wennington gets elected President of USA in stunning write-in campaign? Randy Brown not dead yet? Man. I need to lie down and re-discover this world.