A Remote Chance For ESPN To Please Sports Fans

Having conquered the telecommunications market with their revolutionary ESPN Mobile, the Worldwide Leader is now ready to take their rightful claim as king of home electronics. Introducing … The ESPN Ultimate Remote!

ESPN Ultimate Remote

(Chris Berman-Stuart Scott “mute” button not included)

This brand new gadget from the boys in Bristol allows sports fans to keep connected to the goings on in the Internet world - all while stretching out in their La-Z-Boys while watching “Three Stooges” re-runs.

Here’s this wonderful press release to explain how:

With ESPN The Ultimate Remote, fans can get one-touch access to Internet content in the palm of their hand with an electronic program guide (EPG) for TV listings, one-touch access to a weather widget, mobile Internet browsing, email and text messaging, mobile Internet and entertainment search content.

Yes, you, too, can read the online obsessions of Erin Andrews while watching her do her duty during the Yanks-Red Sox game. (It’s a fair bet ESPN will have at least one of these teams on the schedule for every week of the season.)

Makes a great graduation gift! (Provided that the recent grad can afford a TV.) And don’t forget about Father’s Day! (Provided you’re both still on speaking terms.)

However, there’s one small glitch - the remote only tunes into specific stations (ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN Classic, ABC, Disney Channel, Toon Disney). Then again, who needs any more to enjoy a fine evening of TV viewing?