The NEW YORK TIMES projects news that ESPN is looking to broaden its broadcasting brilliance to the big screen.

The Worldwide Leader is focused on collaborating with Walt Disney Studios and Creative Artists Agency to produce & distribute sports-themed theatrical releases in the next few years. And the network is already making cinematic strides by hiring 30 filmmakers to produce one-hour mini-movies, set to start showing on the small screen in September 2009.

As the bigwigs try to brainstorm for feature film ideas, Mike Bianchi of the ORLANDO SENTINEL proposes remaking a Disney family favorite - featuring the ESPN Primetime Players.

In an homage to “Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs”, Bianchi offers up “Erin Andrews & The Seven Dorks“. And what an all-star cast Mike has brought together:

• Lee Corso as Dopey

• Stephen A. Smith as Angry

• Lou Holtz as Granny

• Chris Berman as Grouchy

• Dana Jacobson as Sloshy

• John Clayton as Brainy

• And last but not least, Beano Cook as Beano

We want our tickets right now. How can such a soon-to-be masterpiece not someday receive an Academy Award from Oscars host (and soccer stud) Jon Stewart?