Soccer Match Far Too Exciting For Fan To Survive

We all know British soccer fans take their sports a little too seriously. But we wonder why happiness over a team’s performance would lead one to commit assault or property damage. (Unless we’re Philadelphians; then we don’t need to wonder).

Soccer Babes

(No, it wasn’t this photo and a heart attack that killed him.)

But I think there’s something universally touching about a man so excited over a gamewinning goal that he leaps out of his chair so fast that he falls, hits his head, and dies. (I had to link to two stories on this since the integrity of two British tabloids is equal to one normal newspaper.)

James Carver was 77, which makes the whole thing a little less sad. But when Steven Gerrard’s two goals in six minutes won the game for Carver’s beloved Liverpool, he leaped out of his chair much faster than a man of 77 probably should:

As Kop hero Stevie G netted a penalty to win the Champions League match 2-1, Mr Carver shouted with joy.

But he had jumped up so suddenly that he became light-headed September and slumped to the floor, hitting his head, an inquest heard.

He was taken to hospital, where, three days later, he suffered a second fall. Tests showed he had suffered brain injuries in the first accident.

If this were America, his widow would be suing Liverpool, the FA, Steven Gerrard, the television maker, the armchair maker, and whoever invented penalty kicks.