England Soccer Bans Fake Borat From Kazakhstan

When England played Kazakhstan in a World Cup qualifier last October, the police in London were so concerned about upsetting the sensitivities of the Kazakhstan players and fans that they enacted a ban on England fans dressing up like Borat, everyone’s favorite culturally clueless Kazakh reporter played by Sacha Baron Cohen. But despite the ban, England fans still tried to find a way to pack their neon green mankinis to support their side.

Borat bikini girls

(The resemblance is uncanny. It’s almost…wait, that is the real Borat.)

Now England is due for a return trip to Kazakhstan on Saturday, and the DAILY MAIL says those wacky Brits are up to their old tricks. The team has an official supporters band - sponsored by the dubiously-named Pukka Pies - and one the trumpet players apparently bears a striking resemblance to Borat. So the plan was for the band to take full advantage of this during photo shoots throughout the country, with the fake Borat and mankini in tow.

But now the England FA has brought the hammer down on the idea, telling the band to not even think about it. According to the FA, they were concerned that “it was inappropriate and sure to cause upset in Kazakhstan where there is serious sensitivity about Borat.” Just because a movie makes their entire citizenry look like Jew-hating, incestuous yokels to the entire world, and they’re still upset about that?

Honestly, it’s not as if England needs help in beating Kazakhstan - they won their first meeting 5-1 at Wembley Stadium. But then again, perhaps the team and its fans need to cool it off with the whole Borat thing. After all, it does appear to be some sort of a curse. Don’t believe me? Check out whose leering eyes were peering from a digital advertising sign when Paul Robinson made one of the worst mistake in goalkeeping history:

Although perhaps in honor of the new “Bruno” movie, the England team can schedule a friendly match against Austria and then - in an homage to the Bruno/Eminem (fake) fight at the MTV Movie Awards - have a half-naked Wayne Rooney fly through the air and land crotch first on Arnold Schwarzenegger.