Egypt Denies Hooker Shenanigans, Blames Media

Hey, just so you know, according to the Egyptian soccer team there are roving bands of prostitutes robbing hotels in Johannesburg, South Africa. They enter the premises through the air ducts, dressed like prostitute Ninjas, and then rob the rooms, slipping out secretly on the bottoms of room service carts. The police are baffled! But they are definitely not being invited there by the players. Nope.

After a report surfaced in a South African tabloid that Egyptian players celebrated their 1-0 win over Italy by inviting hookers to their hotel rooms, Egypt subsequently lost to the U.S., 3-0, and then came back to their hotel to find most of their stuff gone. This of course did not go over well at home, where hookers, booze and especially losing at sports tend to be frowned upon. Who do you guys think you are, A-Rod?

But the Egyptians are now crying foul, saying that they didn’t party with hookers at all. And what’s more, they’re saying that the false reports caused them to lose to the U.S. Yes, it’s the media’s fault.

Head of mission Mahmoud Taher told a news conference on Monday that the team had been stunned by local newspaper reports. He said the team, knocked out on Sunday after losing 3-0 to the United States, had in fact been robbed at their hotel.

“The players have been really subjected to terrible damage in Egypt and they are in a very bad mood right now due to the false allegations that were published in the newspapers here,” he said. “The media have caused all this damage which we were shocked by. This was not the only reason for the defeat, we had some injuries, and some players got injuries in the match, but these were some of the reasons for the defeat.”

Two South African newspapers are sticking by their stories, however.

“We have reason to believe that they brought the women onto the premises and were celebrating with them before they were robbed of their money,” the SUNDAY INDEPENDENT quoted a senior policeman as saying.

The newspapers also questioned why the robbery had only been reported to police several hours after the incident.

CITY PRESS said sources in the police, at the hotel and the World Cup local organizing committee (LOC) had also said there was no sign of forced entry into the players’ rooms, nor any sign they had been burgled.

So this is a long way from being resolved. I leave it to you to decide if you think these three goals were allowed due to hooker fatigue.