Duke Football Does Suck - Check Your Law Books

Thanks to THE WIZARD OF ODDS for bringing us a little Friday joy by relating the recent legal decision in Franklin County (KY) that Duke football sucks immensely. Oh, and not only did a judge agree to this legal precedent, he did so because it was the idea of Duke’s lawyers.

Duke lawyer weasel

Duke wanted to get out of a four-game contract to play the University of Louisville after one posterior-tenderizing loss (40-3 in September 2002). They agreed to pay cash ($150,000/yr) or help find a replacement of roughly equal quality. Then they failed to do either. Louisville sued.

To get out of all responsibility, Duke claimed they suck so badly at football that anyone would be a roughly equal replacement (or better). The judge had no choice but to agree.

Hey, David Cutcliffe, good luck over there. We look forward to you overturning this legal precedence with an even more unlikely outcome: a decent Duke football team.

Could an ACC/Duke football expert please do us a favor and post in the comments exactly why Duke wanted out of the contract? We assume they could get more money in another deal (TV, direct cash, stadium cash for another home game, etc.) and that it really had nothing to do with that 2002 thrashing.

However, we’ve been unable to track down exactly which team replaced Louisville in the 2003 season (and beyond) that made this worthwhile. We’d also be curious why Duke has been such douches about the whole matter, but we don’t need Google for that research project.