DUIs Are Totally Fine For Fox Sports Broadcasters

Good news, sports media! Since everyone’s learned their lessons from the Charles Barkley DUI (and it’s no longer in the news cycle), now you don’t have to worry about any bad publicity or discipline or anything if you drink and drive! That’s for lawyers to sort out!

Norm Nixon

(Public appearance or DUI mugshot? FSN doesn’t care!)

At least, that’s the lesson FOX SPORTS is sending with the case of Norm Nixon. According to the LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS, Nixon was popped for a DUI Monday night, since nothing says “rock star” like getting trashed on a Monday. Just 16 hours later, he was back on the air, providing pre- and post-game analysis of the Lakers. Two more days for FSN West to process the arrest, and… there’s Norm again! And oh, are they brazen about it.

“Let’s talk about the other night,” co-host Bill Macdonald said at the start of the broadcast, looking at Nixon.

Macdonald, of course, was talking about the Lakers-Sixers game. What, did you think he meant the DUI?

No one at FSN will answer any questions about allowing Nixon to go on the air, other than referring questions to Nixon’s legal people.

Yeah, and as we all know, lawyers are notorious for being truthful and forthcoming on their own volition. Why can’t the network give Nixon a few days off to attend to some clearly important personal matters? Don’t you think talking about basketball in front of a camera might not be the best use of his time? Maybe? Anybody? Bueller?

But there was something in the article that struck us as odd; what was the author referring to when he said this? Emphasis ours:

No, not about the fact that you were driving your Ferrari bad enough to attract the CHP (hey, gotta have a front license plate, dude) and have them detect enough alcohol on your breath to do a field sobriety test.

Wait a second. His Ferrari’s license plate falls off when its driver is drunk? THAT IS AMAZING. It must be a supercar! If anything, Nixon’s real crime is driving drunk in a car that would make him such an obvious target for being pulled over.

Oh, wait, I’m sorry. I’m being told that the author fell in love with the line and kept it in, even when the facts didn’t match it perfectly. Nice writering, dude. You DOMINOTED that one.