I’ve heard a lot of people complain that we shouldn’t cover sports the way gossip mags and sites cover entertainment. That we’re trolling the bottom of the barrel, appealing to the lowest common denominator. Thankfully though, we still have bastions to journalistic integrity to look up to. So today, I present you with a hard-hitting piece of investigative pseudo-sports journalism brought to you by the ASSOCIATED PRESS.

(Nah, his luck wasn’t that bad)

The AP blares that the Penn State student who plays the Nittany Lion mascot at PSU football games officially lost the lottery on Nov. 22. In other words, poor kid was busted for DUI. The report also notes that the Rose Bowl status for the regrettably named James Sheep “is in doubt.”

Well now that the news is coast to coast on the wire, I’d say Sheep’s chance of deplaning in Pasadena are officially zero. And the news will likey only get worse for Sheep.

School spokesman Geoff Rushton said he expects some action from the Office of Judicial Affairs, but said that it would likely be up to the coaching staff to determine if Sheep can attend the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, Calif., on Jan. 1. Penn State’s opponent has not been announced.

The student in the mascot suit receives a scholarship, but Rushton said he did not know how much it was worth. In addition to football games, the mascot attends several hundred events a year and must maintain a 3.0 grade point average.

So it appears that not only is the kid going to probably lose the mascot gig, but his scholarship is in serious doubt. I know, we’re all kinda wondering why the hell he has a full ride anyway. But if he is indeed showing up at nursing homes and Chuck E. Cheeses 300 times per year, he deserves a lot more than room, board and tuition.

The funniest part of the story though has to be that the PSU “coaching staff” will decide Sheep’s fate for the Rose Bowl game. With that in mind, perhaps JoPa will go light on the kid, considering his own brush with the PSU campus police on the streets of State College.