Drunken Moped Driving Not Really a Major at Iowa

Last August, SPORTSbyBROOKS pointed out all the Iowa Hawkeyes football team arrests since 2007, foolishly thinking that being charged with 22 crimes couldn’t possibly be bested.  However, that was incredibly foolish as Iowa’s now up to 26 different Hawkeyes being arrested or ticketed since April ‘07, some with multiple offenses (including coach Kirk Ferentz’s son).

Drunk Hawkeye

(The official drunk Hawkeye image of SPORTSbyBROOKS)

And we have another arrest to add the pile.  In this case, we have the added difficulty modifier of operating a moped while intoxicated that came to the police’s attention when Iowa offensive lineman Kyle Calloway plowed into a police barracade.  (Gee, wonder how he got that moped…)

Justice is swift at the University of Iowa, so Calloway will be suspended for one game against some piddling D-II opponent (Northwestern?) and then sent back out to defend Iowa’s Outback Bowl title.

Also, justice was swift on the media for daring to mention this to the public.  Go on, Kirk:

You talk about beating dead mules. For this to make front-page news in a major publication — it’s a great state we live in.

Wait, what?  Iowa’s mule is dead?  That’s awful!  How did it happen?  Did one of your drunken players run over it while driving a combine?

(And congratulations to the DES MOINES REGISTER for reaching Major Publication status, though it’s sad that every other paper in the state had to die for the honor to reach them.)