Drunk Bengal Fans Steal Team’s Tackling Dummy

Two Cincinnati Bengals fans were arrested on Sunday for stealing one of the team’s few possessions that hasn’t been repeatedly punished this season: a tackling dummy. Hey, at least it wasn’t a player getting arrested this time around.

tackling dummy and dumb Bengals fans

Ryan Braun (not the Brew Crew slugger) and Ryan Garvey had, surprisingly, put down a few beers when they decided to take a halftime jaunt over the the team’s practice field, where Garvey had to lift Braun over a fence so he could get the dummy and throw it back over the fence to his friend. Yet, both contend they weren’t trying to steal the thing.

Further idiocy after the jump.

Sharon Coolidge of the CINCINNATI ENQUIRER has the dumb (and dumber) details:

Just after halftime at about 2:30 p.m., Braun and Garvey were leaving the game at Paul brown Stadium, upset at how poorly the Bengals were playing, when they spotted the tackling dummy on the adjacent practice field.

“It was spur of the moment,” Braun said.

Never mind that the Bengals were actually winning the game at the time of the incident. And c’mon, they weren’t trying to steal it anyway. They just wanted to, I guess, tackle it a few times and call it a day:

“We were just going to play with it, we weren’t going to steal it,” Braun said.

That’s not a good enough explanation for the police so far, though the pair were released from jail because of overcrowding.

Braun’s astute observations on his actions?

“It was a poor decision,” Braun said.

His advice to other upset friends: “Think before you drink.”

Apparently, the duo’s arrest wasn’t exactly unexpected, given what they were up to earlier in the day. A commenter on the Enquirer’s story calling himself BrownsFanInCincy sets the stage for us:

These two morons were next to us at Longworth hall tailgating. They almost started a fight with us and others, were drinking beer out of a whiffle ball bat, hitting beer cans into the crowd and at one point I specifically told them they would end up in the county jail by the end of the day. When I saw this, I doubled over with laughter…

It’s taken a while, but I think the Bungles are officially back.