Dr. Z.\’s Ninth Annual TV Commentator Rankings

When I first saw that SPORTS ILLUSTRATED’S Dr. Z. had released his Ninth Annual TV Commentator Rankings, I felt a great sense of loss.

Due to last season’s realignment of broadcast rights, I could no longer scroll directly to the bottom, as in years past, to see whether that horrid ESPN Sunday Night Football team of Mike Patrick, Paul Maguire and Joe Theismann had received one-half star (out of five) or none at all.

That Murderer’s Row (in terms of murdering our enjoyment of a game) was broken up, so another team had to take its place on Dr. Z’s sh*t list. And, wouldn’t ya know it, ESPN’s Monday Night Football crew assumed the position, with Theismann leading another booth down the crapper with zero stars. Call him the Ted McGinley of NFL announcers.

Dr. Z. cites a specific example, in the Bears-Cards mid-season thriller, when Joey T. “chose to ignore journalistic integrity.” Which begs the obvious question: Who in their right mind considers Theismann a journalist?