Somebody needs to find Dirk Nowitzki and tell him that the NBA doesn’t give out Awkward White Player Of The Year Awards, because he might destroy everything in his path before the Mavs even get started in the playoffs.

CHEAP AND DIRTY brings us a YouTube clip of the closing moments of the Mavericks-Spurs game last Thursday in where Nowitzki finds Erick Dampier and collides with him headfirst, absorbs his own blow, and tumbles to the floor like your grandmother down a flight of stairs.

Did we mention that he and Dampier are on the same team? But Dirk was just warming up.

CRITICAL FANATIC of FAN IQ brings us the redux from last night’s game against the Jazz, when the pride of Würzburg gets faked out of his unterwäsche when Andrei Kirilenko makes a great pump fake. However, Dirk decides to reroute Kirilenko’s flight to the hoop, hauling down and injuring the waifish Ukrainian. Kirilenko would not return, and Nowitzki was booed mercilessly for the remainder of the game.

And this isn’t some backup small forward that’s only getting minutes every few games. This is the reigning MVP. He’s the face of his franchise. And we won’t even get into the socio-economics of white-on-white crime.

But seriously, if Dirk injured every other white player in the league, he’s guaranteed to be Awkward White Player Of The Year. Just saying.