Denver Post Cranks Out Colossal Puff Piece On Stan Kroenke

KROENKE’S REGRETTABLE GEL AVERSION GOES UNCOVERED: If you’re looking for some light reading that will tickle your funny bone, might we suggest the DENVER POST’s photo montage of the varying states of pro sports team owner Stan Kroenke’s toupee (and accompanying profile).

Stan Kroenke

Kroenke owns the Nuggets, Avalanche and a piece of the Rams, is the man who became an insta-billionaire by marrying into the Walton (Wal-Mart) family.

The piece details Kroenke’s business holdings, describes his remarkably lavish lifestyle, and also includes the necessary exaggerations about work ethic, business acumen, and physical prowess (lower body fat than Nuggets players?).

Stan Kroenke Arsenal Takeover Bid

Kroenke’s net worth is valued at roughly $3B, thanks entirely to his marriage to an heir to the Wal-Mart fortune, the former Anne Walton. And to no one’s surprise, her hubby succeeds in throwing a wet blanket over her for the piece, as she’s mentioned merely in passing.

Stan Kroenke Arsenal Takeover Bid

Meanwhile, the Post doesn’t bother to poke around Kroenke’s risky, monopoly-money business schemes - to see if they’ve made dollar-one over the years. Nor are there any details of how he was able to insinuate himself into the Walton family.

So let’s all raise a Lowenbrau to the investigative arm of the Denver Post (and Kroenke’s PR firm) - for reinforcing our faith in all those dinosaur media cliches that we’ve come to embrace over the years.