Oh, that we could live half the life Dennis Green has led. He’s been an CFL tailback, NCAA and NFL coach, CEO, philosopher, and warrior-poet. Hell, he’s even got an autobiography: No Room For Crybabies, But There’s Always Room For Jell-O. What would your autobiography be called? I Finished a Spreadsheet? And now, Green adds one more item to his life’s resume: college professor.

(”Yes, I will conduct this class in front of an NFL microphone. No, I don’t know why.”)

According to CBS MARKETWATCH, Green is teaching a sports business management course at San Diego State. It’s for SDSU’s MBA program, and they put out a press release for it, so this is hardly a matter of a man trying to excuse himself from the spotlight; Green’s actually a rather savvy self-promoter.

He parlayed the infamous “Crown their asses” tirade into a lucrative deal with Coors Light, and he’s even got merchandise available with phrases like “We Let Them Off The Hook” on it. For real. You can buy a hat that says that right here. If, you know, you actually want one.

Says SDSU:

Green, the former head coach of the Minnesota Vikings (1992 — 2001) and the Arizona Cardinals (2004 — 2006) brings his vast first-hand knowledge of professional sports management to the classroom. Green has also had many years of experience coaching in the college ranks at Stanford University and Northwestern University. Outside of coaching, he worked as an analyst for ESPN and is presently working as a commentator for Westwood One Radio. Green is president of Dennis Green Sports Marketing and Greenlight Sports Marketing.

SDSU is an interesting staging ground, as the city of San Diego is currently being fleeced by its Qualcomm Stadium deals with the Chargers and the SDSU Aztecs. His class will be required to put together a presentation on improving that situation, which we’re sure all involved officials will be more than happy to ignore. No offense, but there’s not exactly many glue and macaroni pictures in the MoMA, you know?

Of coure, the nakedly cynical among us think it’s also interesting that SDSU has been getting absolutely wrecked on the gridiron under the leadership of head coach Chuck Long for years. The Aztecs lost this past weekend 70-7 to perennial powerhouse, um, New Mexico, and now Green just so happens to be on campus.

Green has a winning record as an NFL coach, and while his college record is significantly worse, you can hardly fault the man; he was at Northwestern and Stanford the entire time, two of the worst programs of the 1980s. He improved both substantially, and SDSU officials might get the notion that Green is worth more to them as a head coach than as an MBA teacher. Just a hunch.

Of course, that would all be contingent upon Green actually wanting to coach again, and we’re not sure what incentive there might be; rare is the man who successfully transitions away from the gridiron, and rarer still is the man who returns anyway.