Dems, GOP Place Partisan Bets On NHL Playoffs

In the game of hockey, two opposing teams try to win by outscoring the other. Of course, unwritten in the rules is that late in the game, the two teams will usually fight each other for the smallest reason. So it’s no wonder that the Democrats and Republicans have picked NHL arenas for their national conventions this summer. Hockey is played just like general elections.

NHL political bet

The Republican National Convention will take place in St. Paul’s XCel Energy Center, home of the Minnesota Wild. And the Democrats will nationally convene at Denver’s Pepsi Center, home of the Colorado Avalanche. Coincidentally, the Wild and Avalanche play each other in the first round of the NHL playoffs. This has led to quite the wager.

THE STAR TRIBUNE says the two parties have bet on who will win the Wild-Avs series, putting at stake … steak. (And fish.)

If the Avalanche wins, the GOP convention team in St. Paul will send the Democratic convention staff in Denver an assortment of walleye from Minnesota lakes. If the Wild prevail, the Democrats will send the Republican staff a selection of Colorado-raised beef steaks.

Wow, boring. Food. These politicians already have enough food, which they distribute at $1,000/plate fundraisers. The wager could have been way more sweet:

if the Avalanche (Democrats) win, universal health care for everybody, including those who don’t need it.

If the Wild (Republicans) win, abortions for nobody, except for those who won’t need them.

Or, ya know, we could just bypass the entire Electoral College and wager the presidency on this playoff series. That would save all of us from the Hanson Brothers-caliber onslaught of political ads this fall.