Dead Goat Found Hanging Outside Wrigley Field

Today marks the 101st straight Opening Day at Wrigley Field in Chicago in which the Cubs won’t be raising a banner that says “World Champions” on it, and as we are all well aware, it’s because the Cubs are cursed. Seriously, they have to be. I mean, how else could you explain the fact that it’s raining outside in Chicago right now and that the odds are pretty good the game may be rained out? A high pressure system colliding with a low pressure system? Please! Keep your science to yourself, Nerdlinger. It’s the curse.

Okay, so I know that’s a bunch of crap. There’s no such thing as curses, but there are plenty of Cub fans around the world that do believe in them, and these people are idiots.  They believe that the Cubs haven’t won a World Series because they wouldn’t let a goat into Wrigley Field many many moons ago. These same morons do things every year to try and reverse this non-existent curse, and early this morning those morons latest attempt included hanging a dead goat from the Harry Caray statue outside Wrigley Field.


A dead goat was found hanging on a statute of Harry Caray outside Wrigley Field early Monday on the North Side, and it’s not the first time.

A similar incident occurred in 2007, police said.

A 911 call at about 2:40 a.m. Monday led police to the goat hanging from a rope on the arm of a statue of Harry Caray at the intersection of Clark and Addison streets, according to Town Hall District police.

Police took the goat down and disposed of the remains. It was not known how the goat died and nothing at the scene was damaged, police said.

That’s right, this isn’t the first time this has happened. The last time was in 2007 before the Cubs took on the Arizona Diamondbacks in the National League Division Series.

The Cubs ended up getting swept 3-0 in that series. Oh, and then they ended up getting swept out of the playoffs by the Los Angeles Dodgers last season as well. So you can see what’s going on here right?

Cubs fans have cursed themselves. Again. It’s the only explanation.

Somebody find a virgin, and fast!