David Beckham’s Underwear Is Bad For Your Boys

David Beckham is as famous for playing soccer as he is for displaying his package in underwear ads. Unfortunately for wanna-be fathers, briefing it like Beckham will leave your hopes unfulfilled.

David Beckham Checking Down Below

Emporio Armani has enjoyed a huge increase in sales thanks to Beckham’s ads, but at what cost? Experts warn that the tighty-whities will leave males infertile.

Dr Allan Pacey, of Sheffield University, said: “David Beckham has had his children, but would-be fathers can’t get away with it.

“Very tight pants damage fertility. The reason you have testicles outside the body is that they stay cooler there.”

That’s outside the body, not the pants, Salisbury. [Insert athlete with a lot of kids by different woman here] should wear two or three pair of the Beckham’s anti-baby briefs at a time.