DAVID BECKHAM BREAKS LIKES BONADUCE, GLOID COMIC: OK, I give up. Like the ASSOCIATED PRESS and Paris Hilton, I’d embargoed all the fake, public relations-manufactured stories about the Beckhams, but I could not ignore the Danny Bonaduce of the sports world when he inked half his torso in honor of an American teevee show.

Much like a marijuana’d-up, just-turned-18-year-old on the Venice Beach boardwalk stumbling into a tattoo parlor to have a nonsensical Mongolian symbol burned into her upper ass, the details of the discarded European footballer’s tatt is meaningless, except to note that he sleeved his right arm to ape a design on an actor in the FOX-TV show “Prison Break”.

And upon careful reconsideration, I’ve decided that perhaps Danny Bonaduce isn’t the proper celebrity comparison for Beckham after all - but only after confirming the veracity of the above photo.