So all of you thought that today’s Ben Roethlisberger news wasn’t going to get any weirder, please stand in the corner silently. You do not get a cookie. According to TMZ, the woman who is accusing Roethlisberger of sexual assault has been under psychiatric care after having fallen in love with a soldier in Iraq […]

The TORONTO GLOBE AND MAIL recently called MMA, albeit plaintively, “the miracle of sport marketing in the early 21st century.” It’s hard to argue. Even as recently as a year ago, EA Sports refused to believe MMA was a sport; now they’re fighting for a share of the burgeoning market. And now, with UFC 100 […]

I’ll have to admit that the case against former NFL placekicker Tony Zendejas, who went to trial on four felony rape and sodomy charges last year, looked fairly compelling. As well as gruesome. But once the judge in the case began throwing out some of the charges, we knew that an acquittal might be in […]

When we last heard from Ozzie Guillen, he was sporting some threads from Chicago Cubs fans, that legendary bastion of maturity. And by that, of course, we mean a shirt that says “Ozzie Guillen Mows Wrigley Field.” Sure, it was based off of a different racist shirt perpetrated against Cub Carlos Zambrano, but this would […]

First of all, I can only imagine what Osama bin Laden thought when he turned on the TV in his cave to watch a little golf, and saw a woman running toward Michael Jordan while waving a giant, polyurethane penis. The terrorists hate us for our inflatable plastic sex toys. Anyway, now the girl who […]

As annual sporting traditions go, few match both the scope and novelty of RAGBRAI, an acronym for Register’s Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa.* You can figure out pretty easily from the name what all is involved. What started as an offhand idea from DES MOINES REGISTER editorial writer Donald Kaul for a nice week-long […]

For those of you who didn’t watch “The T.O. Show” on VH1 last night, consider yourselves the lucky few: like the residents of Johnstown who weren’t washed away by the giant flood, you somehow missed out on being carried away in a torrent of filth, muck and debris. For those of us contractually obligated to […]

Yep yep, can’t think of a better place for a 12-year-old.