Mayfield Sues to be Allowed to Race Poorly Again

Jeremy Mayfield, victim of pollen and a short attention span for far too long, has demanded his day in court to get back on the track after his May 9 indefinite suspension for what has now been revealed to be an amphetamine.

Mayfield continues to claim Adderall and Claritin-D conspired against him in his bloodstream to […]

Read more...

Is Chase Utley the Next Big Superstar? Is Anyone?

Heaven knows it’s a battle to fill the gaping maw of a newspaper sports section (or, heck, an Internet site).  It’s eternally ravenous, utterly unforgiving, and preternaturally cruel.  Lots of writers have to resort to the occasional trick (like comedy bullet points) to keep the beast at bay for another day.

(ARIZONA REPUBLIC writer, considering his […]

Read more...

Serena Williams Spits Bile Twice at French Open

Serena Williams doesn’t understand why her life is so full of emotion, you know? Why so much drama?
I’m like one of those girls on a reality show that has all the drama, and everyone in the house hates them because no matter what they do, like, drama follows them. I don’t want to be that […]

Read more...

Jonathan Ericsson Is A Bigger Man Than You Are

When the Wings and Penguins kick off the Stanley Cup Finals tonight in at Joe Louis Arena, Detroit defenseman Jonathan Ericsson is going to feel like a part of him is gone. And he’d be right, since he had his appendix removed in emergency surgery on Wednesday. And, since that’s an invasive surgery that involves […]

Read more...

Meet Your SbB Youth Coach Pervert Of The Day

If Sean Salisbury has taught us anything, it’s that (allegedly) taking cell phone photos of your junk and sending them around is a terrible idea. But at least Salisbury was (allegedly) showing them to adult co-workers. Sending them to teenage cheerleaders who attend the school you coach at? A much, much worse idea.

Further demonstrating that […]

Read more...

Olympic Medalist Fails PED Test, Starts Drug Ring

Maybe all those PSA’s about steroid abuse being harmful are on to something. Not the steroids themselves, but as a gateway drug. How else can we explain the Olympic medalist who went from testing positive to PEDs, to allegedly running one of the largest ecstasy rings in Australia?

Nathan Baggaley, 33, has won three kayaking world […]

Read more...

Hot Ticket At French Open Is Screaming Teenager

Have you been watching the French Open? No, of course you haven’t been watching it. But maybe you’ve been hearing it. Specifically, one match yesterday where one player’s grunts were so loud, she was warned by the umpire, felt the wrath of the crowd, and ended up in tears.

Grunting is normal in women’s tennis, if […]

Read more...

Is Dwight Howard’s Baby Momma A Gold Digger?

No, we didn’t call her a straight-out whore, just one for attention. But the story isn’t that the mother of an athlete’s illegitimate child is seeking media attention. No, it’s how she’s doing: By explicitly claiming that she isn’t.

The latest example of Royce Reed — that’s the Baby Momma in question –  and her sideline […]

Read more...

Catching Up With The Philly Eagles Cheerleaders

Last year, we took an in-depth look at the Philadelphia Eagles cheerleaders and their attempts at an environmentally-friendly bikini photo shoot. Well, it’s another season, and that means it’s time for another bikini shoot!

No word if this year’s gaggle of Eagles gals are posing in swimwear salvaged from soda bottles or jewely reconditioned from CDs […]

Read more...

Gotta Hurry Up & Post This, I Need To Go Drink

So I’m back in my hometown, Cowtown, with SbB Girl Wendy. In case you don’t know, Wendy is a raging, closet masochist. In other words, she’s a White Sox fan.

We met up at The K this weekend for a turd baseball stew brewed up by the going-nowhere White Sox and Royals. Friday, I’m happy to […]

Read more...