SERENA’S BEAU SERVES UP NOTICE THAT HE’S IN CHARGE: Serena Williams may be queen of the court, but the tennis star’s boyfriend says he’s king of their castle:

FAB TALK finds actor Jackie Long gabbing away to KING magazine about his relationship with the slamstress.
When asked who wears the pants in their pairing, Long lengthily replies, […]

ND COACH WEIS NOT IN THE PINK ABOUT GREEN UNIFORMS: If you ask Charlie Weis, things are going to get ugly this weekend in South Bend. He’s not talking about his 1-6 Irish squad - or maybe he is - but it’s more about the jerseys:

WSBT-TV gets a fashion tip that Notre Dame will don […]

WE WOULDN’T WANT A NATIONAL RADIO SHOW, EITHER: Apparently there’s a radio show in D.C. called “The Junkies”. We know this because of a MISTER IRRELEVANT post about an interview Brandon Lloyd (Redskins wide receiver) did on the show recently.

During the visit, Lloyd called into question Troy Aikman’s sexuality, which was duly reported by the […]

TORRE OUT - LONG, NATIONAL NIGHTMARE FINALLY OVER: The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports “Joe Torre rejected a $5 million, one-year contract to return as manager of the New York Yankees on Thursday.”

Yankees team president Randy Levine: “We felt we needed to go to a performance-based mode. We thought it was very fair. It clearly was at […]

• We’ve already toasted a Bud Light to Delusional Notre Dame Fans and Unathletic Sports Talk Radio Guys. Now, THE EXTRAPOLATER salutes you, Mr. Over-Conservative Egotisical Football Coach - also known as Houston Nutt:

• HOME RUN DERBY turns the knob to see Joe Buck practicing his new late-night career with Conan O’Brien.
• Speaking of […]

SACRAMENTO KINGS CENTER UNDER RAPE INVESTIGATION: An NBA player is currently under investigation for rape:

KXTV in Sacramento reports Kings backup center Justin Williams had his house searched by police Wednesday night.
A woman claims Williams had drugged and raped her, and that the center’s girlfriend also participated in the assault. She was at a party […]

“J.P. LOSMAN’S SIGNATURE POUTINE” HAS NICE RING TO IT: The BUFFALO NEWS reports today that the Bills are “seeking county and state permission” to play preseason and regular-season games at Rogers Centre in Toronto.

After being outed by the newspaper, a Bills spokesman said in a press release that the team playing in Toronto would “increase […]

BONY BRAZILIAN’S BRIEFS BUNCHED B/C BRADY BARREN?: GAWKER’s “Stalk Of The Town” has news that we’re sure will make you shudder in disbelief: “I saw Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady this Monday at Extra Virgin and they were fighting. Everybody was looking at them, until Gisele left Tom at the table—seated alone! Drama!”

While Brady has […]

RUNNING BACK TO GO FROM TACKLING DUMMY TO TENOR: We’ve well-chronicled the athletes over the years who have also made hysteric historic contributions to the world of music. Carl Lewis, John Daly, Ron Artest, Shaq, Oscar De La Hoya, Tony Parker and the ‘85 Chicago Bears all come to mind.

And now you can add one […]

Hed of the day from the bright lights at the ST. PETE TIMES: