WEIGHTLIFTER PARROTS PARTY LINE FOR 2008 OLYMPICS: REUTERS reports from China on how all birds of a feather are pumping up for the Beijing Olympics:

“Steroids in my system? No, that’s bird flu vaccine!“

SEATTLE SODA MAKER SELLING SPORTS CREAM AND SWEAT: Now the great taste of football sweat - in a cola!

BUSINESS WIRE reports that Jones Soda, the plucky little beverage maker that manage to beat out Coke & Pepsi for Seahawks Stadium concession rights, are honoring their hometown heroes with a new special edition pack.
The company that […]

LAW-BREAKING LOUISVILLE LB LOUSES UP 2ND CHANCE: Former fab football recruit Willie Williams just can’t stay out of trouble:

The LOUISVILLE (KY) COURIER-JOURNAL reports that the law-breaking linebacker has been kicked off of the U of L football team, after he was arrested for drug possesion and driving without a license.
Williams was stopped by Louisville police […]

• WITH LEATHER and MAC Gs WORLD wax their bikini zones, as they pull some strings to help break the world record in swimsuit shoots:

• Blimey! 100% INJURY RATE wonders why the bloody hell the NHL is starting the season in England.
• What can Brown do for you? YOU BEEN BLINDED sends us news that […]

HOLY COW! CARAY LEFT OFF OF TBS POST-SEASON LINEUP: Skip Caray has been skipped over for the post-season, and he’s none too happy about it:

The ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION steps up to the mike and tells us that the Braves’ broadcaster has been left off of TBS’s playoff coverage. And that makes him sad:
“It hurt my […]

SUMO CHAMP DOESN’T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH: A sumo champ is now well stocked with livestock, thanks to a generous gift from appreciative fans:

YAHOO! reports that wrestler Hakuho was given more than 100 horses and sheep by villagers in his native Mongolia after his latest victory. Over 1,000 people came to show […]

MIKE VICK FANS MORE WORRIED ABOUT SEEING HIM PLAY: Are supporters of Michael Vick rallying around a man who has been treated unfairly by a biased system? Or do they just want their fantasy football teams back on track?

• FAN IQ rolls the tape, as they predict which college coach is next to have a Mike Gundy-esque media meltdown:

• HUGGING HAROLD REYNOLDS calls for intermission, as they compare the plot of Disney’s latest Rock-fueled film to recent race-related sports moments.• EPIC CARNIVAL looks for some sympathy, as they ask which major league is […]

ESPN ENABLES JOE’S INEVITABLE MOVE TO FOOD NETWORK: PRO FOOTBALL TALK via AWFUL ANNOUNCING, has the mournful news that ESPN has officially sh–canned Joe Theismann.

PFT: “ESPN spokesman Mac Nwulu tells us that Joe Theismann is no longer affiliated with the network.
“Here’s the official statement: ‘We have reached a settlement with Joe Theismann to end his […]

The WIZARDS OF ODDS confirms what we’ve all known for some time here in Los Angeles:

Mary Jane is alive and well on Trousdale Pkwy: