Penn State Using Playstation 3 To Teach Quarterbacks Playbook

WILL MADDEN INTRO COACHING INJURIES, ON-FIELD BM’S?: At Big Ten media day, Joe Paterno was asked about the NCAA rules regarding text messaging and recruiting.

JoePa’s quizzical response: “Is it t-e-x-t? Or tech?”
With that, we’re assuming that Joe is busying himself with what adult diaper technology to employ on the sideline this season - and not […]

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Ronaldinho Rumored To Move To Chelsea Despite 170 Million Dollar Buyout Clause

WANT RONALDINHO? HE’LL ONLY COST YOU $170,000,000: As we try to grasp the $30M+ per year contract ARod is sure to soon garner, consider this report today from the LONDON TELEGRAPH about Brazilian soccer player Ronaldinho - who plays for FC Barcelona: “Ronaldinho was last night linked with a startling move to Chelsea after […]

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Wife Of Former NFL Player Ricky Reynolds Lights Girlfriends Clothes On Fire

WIFE OF FORMER BUC LIT HIS GFRIEND’S CLOTHES ON FIRE: The ST. PETERSBURG TIMES reports today that “Firefighters put out a blaze on the driveway of former Tampa Bay Bucaneers cornerback Ricky Reynolds on Sunday” after his wife lit the clothes of his girlfriend on fire.

Excerpt: “Pamela Reynolds, 41, told sheriff’s deputies that she and […]

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Hooters To Sponsor Female College Golfers Tournament

THOSE PANT-SUITED ASSISTANT ADS SURE LOVE HOOTERS: The ORLANDO SENTINEL has the news that the Ginn Reunion Resort in Kissimmee, Florida, will host the 16-team Hooters Collegiate Match Play Championship women’s golf tournament from November 4-6.

That’s right, Hooters once again will sponsor the top tour stop for female college golfers. National Golf Coaches Association Executive […]

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Ana Ivanovic May Host Eurovision Song Contest And Screw Vlade Divac

TO THINK VLADE DIVAC THOUGHT HE HAD IT LOCKED DOWN: The U.S. (tennis) Open starts today, and we’ve got a serious favorite in mind: Teen hottie Ana Ivanovic.

Besides being a badass on the court (ask Maria Sharapova about the French Open), Ivanovic is our current soft-teenie-dream (we know, that sounds way creepy). And thanks to […]

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LA Galaxy Coach To Get Fired Thanks To Beckham Injury Disaster

LA GALAXY COACH BLOWN OUT THANKS TO ANKLE BITERS: We’d like to personally thank our favorite local riddle wrapped in an enigma: L.A. Galaxy Owner Phil Anschutz.

Thanks to the founder of the forever-foundering phone company QWest, we’ve been ankle-deep in David Beckham this summer, as he leads the Galaxy to a 3-10-5 record (zero road […]

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No One Gives A Rip About David Wells Were Waiting For USC Football Now

NO ONE IN THE (213) GIVES A DAMN ABOUT DAVID WELLS: Everyone we know outside of Los Angeles was intrigued by fake surfer (uh, the guy’s diabetic … hello?) David Wells’ victorious pitching performance against the Mets last night.

But since the Dodgers’ pathetically precipitous plummet in the standings, we Angelenos have long since turned our […]

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Michael Vick Trading Cards Chewed On By Dogs Big Hit on eBay

DOG-CHEWED VICK CARDS GETTING EATEN UP ON EBAY: Chew on this - some Michael Vick cards chomped on by a couple of canines are racking up the dough on eBay:

The SOUTHEAST MISSOURIAN sniffs out the story of Rochelle Steffen, an artist who’s been auctioning off Vick trading cards chewed upon by her pets - a […]

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Mark Cuban To Appear On Dancing With The Stars

CUBAN CHA-CHA’S HIS WAY ONTO REALITY DANCE SHOW: Mark Cuban and Wayne Newton will finally duke it out on the dance floor:

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED waltzes in with news that the Dallas Mavericks owner will be appearing in the next upcoming season of ABC’s “Dancing With The Stars”. Cuban will be following in the footsteps of […]

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Florida Gators QB Has A Taste For White Chicks

• ALLIGATOR ARMY isn’t colorblind to this declaration from Florida frosh QB Chris Rainey: “I’m a white girl man“:

• SONS OF SAM MALONE refuses to drop the soap, as they offer up some sports stars who wouldn’t survive the slammer.
• YOU BEEN BLINDED needs their reading glasses, as the Goldmans and Browns will chat with […]

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