BREAKING NEWS! “IT SEEMS NO ONE LIKES MATT LEINART“: The BURGH REPORT takes the time to transcribe a Bill Simmons’ podcast interview of ESPYs host Jimmy Kimmel - and somehow it pays off.

During the conversation, Kimmel gave us a pretty good indication that Ben Roethlisberger and Peyton Manning won’t be hanging out with Matt Leinart […]

• DID YOGA-FRIED STING PUSH CHICAGO CUB OVER CLIFF? The CHICAGO TRIBUNE reports Cubs outfielder Cliff Floyd injured his shoulder Saturday while diving for a ball in the Wrigley Field outfield. The same outfield played host to recent Police concerts, and left the area looking “raggedly“.

Tribune: Was Cliff Floyd’s shoulder injury Saturday a matter of […]

MICKEY SHUNS BECKHAM & GALAXY, SIGNS CHELSEA FC: Southern California-based Disney Corp. now has an “official professional soccer club”, which is a team that also happens to be playing this Sunday in Los Angeles.

Beckham? Galaxy? Try Chelsea.
The LONDON TIMES reports English Premier League club Chelsea has inked a four-year pact with Walt Disney Co., making […]

‘MARKY MARK’ WAHLBERG GETS UNDIES IN A FUNKY BUNCH: Here’s an amusing video from 1991 featuring “Marky Mark” Wahlberg strutting it for an MTV Rock ‘n’ Jock basketball-based special:

You can tell it’s from the ’90s and not the MTV of today, since there seems to be actual music content.

About 2 minutes into this cinematic masterpiece, […]

NEWSWEEK DROPS A SERIOUS DIME ON BRISTOL BLUNDERS: Devin Gordon of NEWSWEEK has a priceless dissection of the slow, steady demise decline of ESPN as an objective sports media entity (for some reason, NEWSWEEK’s website has been down throughout the weekend, the cached version of the piece is linked).

Gordon surveys the wreckage of the net’s […]

MARK TRAIL NOW SOON TO CALL OUT CAROLINA PANTHERS: DAWGS BY NATURE naughtily reports “In a recent panel of the somewhat popular comic strip ‘Funky Winkerbean’, the Cleveland Browns were the primary focus! Unfortunately, we were on the receiving end of a punch-line that fans are tired of hearing.”

Funky Winkerbean bagging on the Browns? What’s […]

Congrats to the Phillies on their historic achievement:

OCHO CINCO LOVES TO PIG OUT AT THE GOLDEN ARCHES: The DAYTON DAILY NEWS has a nice chat with Bengals WR T.J. Houshmanzadeh, and his thoughts on training camp and life in general.
When asked who he thought had the strangest eating habits, Houshmen…er, Hooshmane…er, T.J. relished in the answer of Chad Johnson.

“He eats McDonald’s and […]

• WITH LEATHER spots Maria Sharapova in their namesake:

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT is feeling a shakedown as Oriole legend Cal is Rip(ken)ing off his hometown.• WAGGLE ROOM finds structural faults in yet another Phil Mickelson collapse:

• FIRE JOE MORGAN asks if someone could get Stephen A. Smith a chair.• THE LOSS COLUMN gets its balls […]

PARKER’S FUN WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR A LONGORIA TIME: Poor Tony Parker. First, his bride-to-be Eva Longoria put down a sex ban before their marriage.

And now that the wedding day has come and gone, the NBA Finals MVP will still have to wait to consummate, as his new wife has been banned from […]