PGA Tour Pro Says Sergio Garcia Needs A Fresh Diaper

• ANON PGA PRO - SERGIO GARCIA NEEDS A FRESH DIAPER: SI hands column space to an anonymous PGA Tour player, and as you might expect, our favorite Major-less Spaniard gets fed a Greyhound grill: “Sergio Garcia needs a fresh diaper. Did you hear him crying about how he got lousy breaks and had to […]

Read more...

Celebrity Injustice Will Prevail In Michael Vick Dog Abuse Trial

CELEBRITY (IN)JUSTICE WILL PRESIDE OVER VICK’S TRIAL: To the dozens of overheated cranks who emailed us about our assertation that Michael Vick will never see the inside of a cell block, we’re well aware that Vick is facing Federal charges and that those charges are considerably more serious than those Qyntel Woods faced.

Our opinion was […]

Read more...

Lou Piniella Warns Cubs About Getting Google-Eyed

PINIELLA CAUTIONS CUBBIES ON DANGER OF GOOGLE EYES: The Cubs are slowly creeping up in the NL Central. But manager Lou Piniella wants his boys to keep their focus:

“We’ve got to keep grinding. We can’t get google-eyed over where we are.”
Google-eyed? Sounds like a dangerous condition - one that might not be covered by […]

Read more...

Pat Tillman Murder Possibility Being Investigated

COVER-UP OF PAT TILLMAN DEATH KEEPS GETTING UGLIER: The ASSOCIATED PRESS reported the ugly news late last week that “U.S. Army medical examiners were suspicious about the close proximity of the three bullet holes in Pat Tillman’s forehead and tried without success to get authorities to investigate whether the former professional football player’s death amounted […]

Read more...

Barry Bonds Ticket Prices Soar At Dodger Stadium For Outfield Seats

WELCOME TO WORLD’S MOST EXPENSIVE COTTON CANDY: We here in Los Angeles are pleased to welcome Mr. Barry Bonds to the Basin tonight, and we’re sure that he’ll be treated with the utmost dignity and respect by our fellow Angelenos. Or at the very least enjoy the same treatment he has afforded fans and media […]

Read more...

Brady Mum About Being Dad Bengals Full of Johnsons

• The BOSTON HERALD found Tom Brady pretty mum about being a new dad:

But although Tommy’s offspring is believed due very soon, reps for momma Bridget Moynahan say the baby won’t arrive “for a couple of months“.
• Contrary to what you might have heard, K. Garnett is definitely going to the Houston Rockets.
• Remember that […]

Read more...

CBS Broadcasts Video Game Highlights

CBS BROADCASTS VIDEO GAME TOURNAMENT HIGHLIGHTS: CBS made history over the weekend, we suppose, as they became the first U.S. TV network to cover a video game tournament as if it were an actual sporting event:

Seth Schiesel of the NEW YORK TIMES spotted the Big Eye broadcasting edited highlights of the World Series of Video […]

Read more...

Fox Sports Bleeps Basketball Players Last Name

B-BALLER’S SURNAME TOO HOT FOR FOX SPORTS WEBSITE: Fox Sports.com has determined that Rudy Gay’s name is offensive to younger and more sensitive viewers:

THE BIG LEAD points out that in an excessive use of censorship, this screen capture from the Fox Sports’ website shows the surname of former UConn standout and current Memphis Grizzly replaced […]

Read more...

Leinart Pays $15000 Per Month In Child Support To Brynn Cameron

LEINART WILL PAY $15,000 PER MONTH IN CHILD SUPPORT: TMZ reports today that Matt Leinart and his Baby Momma, Brynn Cameron, have settled on child support payments.

Leinart will pay Cameron $15,000 per month to care for their “Superbaby” son Cole. The amount is half of what she initially demanded.

$15K every thirty days? That works out […]

Read more...

UCLA Kevin Love Avoiding Matt Leinart Baby Momma Trap

UCLA’S K-LOVE AVOIDS MATT LEINART BABY MOMMA TRAP: Arash Markazi of SI.com has our first in-depth glimpse into the real personality of incoming UCLA basketball superstar Kevin Love. And let’s just say he’s already aware of his BMOC status, but doesn’t plan to fall into the Baby Momma trap which ensnared a certain crosstown QB.

Three […]

Read more...