YET ANOTHER REASON WE MISS GORILLA AND THE BRAIN: CNBC’s Darren Rovell had a piece yesterday about the ramifications of Vince McMahon’s lame fake death plotline (which apparently the neckbeards are actually buying).
And we must admit, the WWE’s response to the reportage is the first amusing thing attached to wrestling since the (sadly) last […]

DID A.J. CHEAT ON OUR HEATHER AND GET AWAY WITH IT? Soccer hottie Heather Mitts is a little confused about her relationship with Eagles clipboard surfer (QB) A.J. Feeley.

The PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS reports that Mitts said this week that the two had split in March, yet in “April, she laughed off rumors that the couple […]

USC A BIG BABY WHEN IT COMES TO SCHEDULING GATORS: USC basketball news all over the place today, as Scott Wolf of the L.A. DAILY NEWS reports that the planned USC-Florida game this season has now been called off.

Wolf claims the game was “scrapped because a suitable date could not be found by Fox Sports, […]

• Arash Markazi of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED experiences every male slacker’s dream as he attends a pro video gamer draft at the Playboy Mansion:

• THE BOTTOM LINE pays tribute to Indiana football coach Terry Hoeppner.
• The INDIANAPOLIS STAR reports Greg Oden loves the ladies - of the WNBA.
• FUNNY OR DIE gets out the crystal ball […]

BYU TRACK STAR FIGHTS DIRTY WITH MOP ATTACK ON GUY: A track star at Brigham Young University was arrested for attacking a man with his own mop:

Provo Police say Kyle Perry’s car apparently got too close to a man pushing a mop bucket across the street. After angry words were exchanged, Perry got out of […]

CUBAN CAUSES CHUCKLES WITH COCAINE CONTROVERSY: The DALLAS MORNING NEWS (via TMZ) sniffs out a scene of NBA maverick Mark Cuban pretending to do cocaine:

While entering a typical L.A. nightspot, Cuban decided to have some fun with the photogs out front by placing his cellphone up to his nose and mimic snorting lines off it. […]

SPORTSbyBROOKS Girl Anyssa in Beverly Hills, California:

Another brand-new SbB Girl is coming soon - stay tuned.

THEUS IS IT! REGGIE GETS CHANCE TO COACH IN THE NBA: A coaching dream has come true, as Reggie Theus leaves the lights of Las Cruces for the sights of Sactown:

Unfortunately, Reggie won’t win the NBA’s Sexiest New Coach award, as that prize is reserved for new Magic man Stan Van Gundy:

FORE…I MEAN, FIRE! GOLF SWING STARTS SUDDEN SPARKS: A golfer hitting a shot in high grass inadvertenly started a brush fire that burned 15 to 20 acres.

The RENO GAZETTE JOURNAL reports the player was swinging back towards the fairway, when his club struck something that created sparks. The ensuing blaze eventually required 45 to […]

KOBE-LIKE INCONTINENCE EXTENDS ACROSS CONTINENTS: The CHICAGO TRIBUNE reports a perennial NBA superstar is upset with the direction of his team and speaking out in the media in the hope that the club’s front office will quickly upgrade his supporting cast: “If they really want to keep me, then they have to make the necessary […]