FED RAISES PLATES: In case you’ve somehow missed the *leaked* Kevin Federline Super Bowl commercial, in which he’s shockingly able to accurately portray a fast food worker pretending to be a rapper, enjoy!

SPORTS CLICHES CONTRIBUTE TO BORED ROOM: SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY reports Dr. Don R. Powell, a licensed psychologist and President of the American Institute for Preventive Medicine in Farmington Hills, Michigan, claims to have come up with the top ten sports clichés used in business:
1. “He’s a team player.”
2. “He dropped the ball.”
3. […]

COLUMNIST TO WEB - GET OFF MY DAMN PAPER! Jerry Izenberg, currently a columnist for the NEWARK STAR-LEDGER, has covered sports in the tri-state area since Bobby Thomson’s shot heard ’round the world in 1951.
Izenberg will soon enter retirement from the grind as a semi-regular columnist, but still plans to write four more books.
As […]

MYSTERY OF BARBARO MEDIA COVERAGE SOLVED: You would think that the way print, radio and TV outlets have covered the inevitable death of Barbaro, nearly every multi-cellular organism on the North American continent is currently curled up in a ball in the corner, emotionally shattered and gripped with tear-filled grief.
Now for the truth: After reading […]

SHERIFF SHAQ TO PATROL PORN PARTY? The Miami Police Department is on high alert this week as the city hosts the Super Bowl and accompanying festivities. Some events probably will get more attention from peace officers than others, like the Penthouse Magazine “Super Party”.
The porn-based bustup will feature dozens of Penthouse’s pay-for-play *models* and varying […]

FADE TO (ALL) BLACK: A member of the legendary New Zealand All Blacks rugby squad reportedly tested positive for marijuana usage after a match against France.
The French newspaper MIDI OLYMPIQUE recently reported an “an unnamed All Black had tested positive for cannabis following the All Blacks’ Test against France in Paris in November last […]

CASE OF THE MONDAY: NEWSDAY reports four guys in North Carolina have launched a website to promote their goal of granting Super Bowl Sunday national holiday status.

The quartet hopes to also soon “present 50,000 signatures” to U.S. Representative Sue Myrick supporting the observance of the holiday on the Monday following the Super Bowl.
So far they […]